Deadlock

I leave your house haunted with trauma, and hate, is a strong word but what else can it be? Despising the cinema of love, you both disguise and create, do you not know your value babe? invades my bladed mind: I let it slide; keeping my script inside and confined.

You mined my kind. You take my soul like it’s a ritual, habitual permanence in situ, after all these years you’re still working out if it’s me who fits you, my delusion keeps me sedated, I know I need something to take your place.

My love stems and bubbles from brutality and heartache, it grows contorted from distant solace and immediate disgrace, I’m perpetually torn in two to save a savage you, your tongue rips and lashes at the simplest of cues.

To proclaim with reverence, I’m loyal and I’ve got you, it just never comes. I’m left with layer upon layer of turmoil, wrath, rage. In the same breath, I feel like I need to look after you: but please. I wish someone would do what I do for you. For me. You make it impossible to love you when you treat me like an empty vessel for your seed.