tears on my pillow

My eyes hurt from frowning, desecrating your crowning, jewels taken from me, you smile as i’m drowning. you’re no longer who you are, each crossed star, mimics a future filled with a past, i am not the first, i’ll not be the last. all these broken bits, gleaming like heaven in the dark, splinters spike and shatter, blood drawn from severed shards, needlepoint sharp. lost in the wind when i used to be free, every thought is discoloured, how can that be? my spirit is heavy, tears on my pillow, you’re too blind to see.

I can’t feel you here with me, every borderline sight is each of my dreams, illness invades my clarity, my supreme being deceived, empty vessels grieve for something you can’t achieve, wishing this feeling would leave. when all that there ever was, was all that has ever been. slipping through my fingers to destroy the very part of me which only ever wanted peace. decorating your nightmares with my love, was that not enough? an open heart abrupt without trust, am i cursed? too many cuts to count, each one worse, and all of the time you don’t know, how much it hurts.

My mind sways, not really sure which way your soul plays, used to be sun rays, thought i’d learned to read clay, your stay. mistaken, another missed take, game over, forgotten, i lie here burned, you save your heart, case adjourned. as if victory would ever be aligned. as if i’d deserve anything so sweet. my shadows return, plagued with ossified time, motions collide with token highs, lost in a quiet die.